Not dead, though
An escape and a release it seems
But it’s a tight grip;
so tight every broken piece holds still;
still enough to form a great illusion,
an illusion of wholeness…
but illusion is like a glass-
It can be broken Continue reading “Numb”
It is not about my issues. It is not even about my good deeds. It’s always been about me – my very self. I am my worst enemy. I know this. She knows this. Everyone knows this. But still, they let me be. Whether to see if I can find a way to save myself or if I will self-destruct, I can’t say.
It is past noon and she is seated adjacent to me, her voice calm. “You still have to try. For me” She says.
I normally would stare back silently till she gave up but today I sit up straight, my eyes out of focus. I want to answer her. I’m dying to tell her the truth. I want her to see that I’m trying for her but I just can’t focus.
“Are you high right now?” She asks.
She comes into focus briefly, but then whirls out. I shrug. “Numb.”
I clear my throat. “Numb.” Continue reading “Therapy”
I was on my way back to Lagos when I saw these words on a billboard:
“When Life Happens, Still Be Happy.”
I thought it to be strange at first because of the word “Still.” Why would someone want you to still be happy when life happens? But then I realized that there are two right questions and that wasn’t one of them.
The first is: What does it mean for life to happen? It was obvious whatever this “life” is, it had to be negative because of the use of “still”. So I thought about my life.
I recently just got back from the South-Eastern part of the country where I had been for the larger part of a year. It was a rural area and there were various challenges I experienced, the major part being that there was little to no electricity where I stayed for practically a whole year which made it quite a challenge for me, an internet person, to stay in touch with everything outside of that little town.
But that was not all. Continue reading “When Life Happens…”