Let me create a scenario:
Imagine your life is a house–with doors and windows, obviously. For the purpose of this illustration, it is YOUR life, which means it is YOUR house; you have the keys to the door into the house.
Now imagine other people are also house owners with keys to their houses.
Now someone comes to your house and starts throwing stones and whathaveyou at your house so much that it breaks something, say a window, and leaves it damaged.
You are angry! Of course, you should be; it’s your house and that glass on the window is so damn expensive and now it’s broken for no good reason. You don’t deserve that! So you open your door and go out to meet the perpetrator. You challenge them but they don’t see the wrong in what they just did and don’t see the need to apologize or try to fix it. In fact, they storm off, leaving you outside your house, angry.
So you think to yourself, “I may not be so cruel as this person as to go and break something in their house but I won’t forgive them for this.” Then you go back inside your house and lock the door.
Afterwards, you try to fix the broken glass but it just isn’t fitting back as it was before; I mean it is still obvious that it was once broken. But yet you leave it like that; getting a new one isn’t so easy.
However, whenever you see the glass, you remember what the person did and feel that hatred again and you remind yourself you are not going to forgive them. And why should you? They didn’t even ask for it.
And that was that.
Still with me? Let’s contine.
But you notice that ever since that day, certain doors inside your house that you closed would for no reason be opened and those you opened are sometimes closed. Then you started missing some things. Some jewelleries in your drawer are gone, but you kept that drawer closed, you were certain.
You don’t own a dog but you entered a room and found dog shit on the floor. What the hell, right? You dont understand what is happening.
So what do you do? You invite your confidant over and together search the whole house but you found no one. So you change the locks to the main door–at least that should stop whoever is playing the pranks.
But, it doesn’t work. Instead the issue intensifies and now you can’t sleep peacefully at night because you’re worried about what might come for you.
You’re no longer safe in your own house!
Now this is where things get interesting.
Your confidant tells you they think it is spiritual, so you should go see your priest.
So you go to your priest and ask him to come and purify your house.
“Do you believe in spirits?” He asks after praying around your house.
You scoff. “No, I don’t.” You say.
“Well, they exist.” He says, “And one is in this house right now.”
You laugh despite your predicament, but the priest is dead serious.
“It’s a very stubborn and very strong spirit, and that’s because you’re fuelling it.” He explained. “In fact, you gave it access into your house and now you’ve empowered it to oppress you.”
That sounds strange. “How is that?” You ask.
“This spirit is only invoked when you make a decision – a decision to not forgive someone. Once you make that decision, it’s like handing the key to your house to the the spitrit to do as it pleases. And the only thing this spirit knows how to do is wreck havoc. It causes confusion. And the only way to take the power back from it is to forgive whoever it is.”
You look at the window, the “scar” is still there. You still havent been able to get a new one. But the important thing is that, the perpetrator hadn’t asked for forgiveness. You look out your window (because they live across from you), and see them tending their garden, smiling and humming “What A Wonderful World.”
Here you are with a poltergeist in your house allowing you no rest of mind and taking your stuffs, because of them and they are humming What A Wonderful World? How can you forgive someone like that? Such hearltess person.
You look at the priest again. “There is no other way.” He says.
I don’t think this needs any further explanation. Unforgivingness is a spirit we let into our lives because we cant forgive someone who has hurt us, no matter how just our reasons are. We let the spirit into OUR LIVES, not the person we can’t forgive. They go on with their lives sometimes not remembering what they did to us.
So what exactly is unforgivingness? It is an access key to unhappiness. It shuts the door of goodness in our lives and lets in other unpleasant things.
Forgiving is not for the person that hurts us, it is for us to heal our wounds.