It is not about my issues. It is not even about my good deeds. It’s always been about me – my very self. I am my worst enemy. I know this. She knows this. Everyone knows this. But still, they let me be. Whether to see if I can find a way to save myself or if I will self-destruct, I can’t say.
It is past noon and she is seated adjacent to me, her voice calm. “You still have to try. For me” She says.
I normally would stare back silently till she gave up but today I sit up straight, my eyes out of focus. I want to answer her. I’m dying to tell her the truth. I want her to see that I’m trying for her but I just can’t focus.
“Are you high right now?” She asks.
She comes into focus briefly, but then whirls out. I shrug. “Numb.”
I clear my throat. “Numb.” Continue reading “Therapy”
I am the master of my fate, the captain of my soul, I repeat to myself over and over while standing on the window ledge of our home, eyes closed. We live on the third floor and I have a full view of the street and market below from the comfort of my room.
I would sit by the window in the boring afternoons and look out into the street, at children playing or at women that were friends a minute ago now trading abuses. Bored still, I would move my gaze to a shop few buildings down the road where a television set was placed outside and various musical videos or movies were being showed and I would allow myself to be distracted by that for a moment, until I grew bored again and finally decided to look into the market, at the various people who had come to shop. I would classify them based on gender, the type of clothes they wore – English or native – their height and size.
On fuller market days, animals often got into the mix, until I finally grew weary of that, too and got up from the window, to lie on the bed and close my eyes and dream.
Continue reading “Invictus (Unconquerable or Undefeated)”
Do you believe in miracles or fairytales? Well…
Once in a while I write a short story to lighten the mood or pass a message and this is one of those times. I hope you enjoy it 😉. Oh, and Happy Holidays to you all.
A Christmas Miracle
Maybe it was the way she called his name as she tapped on his shoulder that made him pay close attention to her, or maybe it was the fact that she was just simple – her dressing, makeup, and hairdo – all very simple. Which was weird considering he was at a Christmas eve party where everyone was overdressed with a touch of red.
She handed him a pen, “this just fell from your pocket.” Continue reading “A Christmas Miracle”
If tears could bring back the dead, then I wouldn’t still be lying in this wooden box on this wet August afternoon in this overcrowded community church.
“Why?” and “What a cruel world!” was on everyone’s lips as they wiped away their tears and blew their running noses. “He was just so young,” others said. I was indeed still young at twenty-nine; too young to die just when things were going on smoothly. Continue reading “Mourns From Beyond”
“This is the last time”, I thought. But I knew it wasn’t. I knew this was just like the twenty times I’ve said that before as I shut my door and pulled down the window shades. I took a deep breath and turned the music way up. This has been my habit for the past 32 days since I attended what was the party of the school year. I’m not one that parties, which was not by choice but, no one really wanted a nerd at their party, so you can imagine my surprise when Clara, the class queen’s closest friend, Tolani, asked me if I wanted to attend a birthday party.
Continue reading “The Last Time”
There was one particular thought that kept buzzing around my mind as I closed for work that Friday evening – the thought of a romantic weekend with my lady! I hastily packed my bag, placing my laptop upside down – something I never do – with a smile on my face while humming Don Williams’ ‘Shelter of Your Eyes’. She should almost be home by now, if not already at home. Moyin likes to surprise me whenever she’s visiting, or so she thinks but the way her face lights up when I feign surprise gives me a kind of happiness that makes me want to keep that smile on her face forever. It’s been five months since her last visit so when she called me Wednesday evening to tell me she was coming that Friday, you can imagine my excitement because that meant romantic dinner, cuddling, staring at the night sky in each other’s arms, giggling like kids and, I won’t bother telling you about the sex other than it always left us breathless and satisfied.
Continue reading “The Weekend Plan”