Not dead, though
An escape and a release it seems
But it’s a tight grip;
so tight every broken piece holds still;
still enough to form a great illusion,
an illusion of wholeness…
but illusion is like a glass-
It can be broken Continue reading “Numb”
It is not about my issues. It is not even about my good deeds. It’s always been about me – my very self. I am my worst enemy. I know this. She knows this. Everyone knows this. But still, they let me be. Whether to see if I can find a way to save myself or if I will self-destruct, I can’t say.
It is past noon and she is seated adjacent to me, her voice calm. “You still have to try. For me” She says.
I normally would stare back silently till she gave up but today I sit up straight, my eyes out of focus. I want to answer her. I’m dying to tell her the truth. I want her to see that I’m trying for her but I just can’t focus.
“Are you high right now?” She asks.
She comes into focus briefly, but then whirls out. I shrug. “Numb.”
I clear my throat. “Numb.” Continue reading “Therapy”
I was on my way back to Lagos when I saw these words on a billboard:
“When Life Happens, Still Be Happy.”
I thought it to be strange at first because of the word “Still.” Why would someone want you to still be happy when life happens? But then I realized that there are two right questions and that wasn’t one of them.
The first is: What does it mean for life to happen? It was obvious whatever this “life” is, it had to be negative because of the use of “still”. So I thought about my life.
I recently just got back from the South-Eastern part of the country where I had been for the larger part of a year. It was a rural area and there were various challenges I experienced, the major part being that there was little to no electricity where I stayed for practically a whole year which made it quite a challenge for me, an internet person, to stay in touch with everything outside of that little town.
But that was not all. Continue reading “When Life Happens…”
We never really move away from an old life, we just suppress it to entertain and make space for the new one. Sometimes, the new becomes so comfortable that we begin to forget what the old life looks and feels like; we suppress it into oblivion.
But the truly interesting part is that, we never truly forget because we never really moved on in the first place.
Why? Continue reading “Memories Never Fade…”
I am the master of my fate, the captain of my soul, I repeat to myself over and over while standing on the window ledge of our home, eyes closed. We live on the third floor and I have a full view of the street and market below from the comfort of my room.
I would sit by the window in the boring afternoons and look out into the street, at children playing or at women that were friends a minute ago now trading abuses. Bored still, I would move my gaze to a shop few buildings down the road where a television set was placed outside and various musical videos or movies were being showed and I would allow myself to be distracted by that for a moment, until I grew bored again and finally decided to look into the market, at the various people who had come to shop. I would classify them based on gender, the type of clothes they wore – English or native – their height and size.
On fuller market days, animals often got into the mix, until I finally grew weary of that, too and got up from the window, to lie on the bed and close my eyes and dream.
Continue reading “Invictus (Unconquerable or Undefeated)”
Do you believe in miracles or fairytales? Well…
Once in a while I write a short story to lighten the mood or pass a message and this is one of those times. I hope you enjoy it 😉. Oh, and Happy Holidays to you all.
A Christmas Miracle
Maybe it was the way she called his name as she tapped on his shoulder that made him pay close attention to her, or maybe it was the fact that she was just simple – her dressing, makeup, and hairdo – all very simple. Which was weird considering he was at a Christmas eve party where everyone was overdressed with a touch of red.
She handed him a pen, “this just fell from your pocket.” Continue reading “A Christmas Miracle”
I made a little mistake today; I allowed myelf to worry too much.
I recently made a decision to stop putting off the life I want, and stop “dreaming”. I decided to start making those dreams my reality, which is a good thing, right?
But with that decison, I realised there’s just so much I’ve dreamed about, and turning them into reality will take so much time- time that I don’t have.
I told myself I had so much to do in “no time”.
That was my mistake.
Continue reading “Progress counts, no matter how little.”
Many a time, I have wondered what it would feel like to just get up and leave;
Leave the life I know behind,
Leave the limitations behind,
Leave the huddles I encounter everyday,
The depressions and lack,
To leave and travel towards a safe haven
Continue reading “Leaving and Living”
Maybe things are different. Or maybe I’m seeing things differently from where I am.
Maybe that’s what life is supposed to be to each of us – different. Or maybe life isn’t so different for us and there is someone out there who’s going through exactly the same thing we are going through right in this moment.
Continue reading “Maybe”
Some days are just better than others.
And some days are sadder than others.
Sometimes, it doesn’t matter what you do or don’t do, you just can’t control everything.
Continue reading “Live”